Mustache Monday: Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan, known as a WWF wrestler and TV personality.

Hulk Hogan, also infamous for his ridiculous facial hair.

Talk about a handlebar mustache! Pretty much the only good thing to be said about this 'stache is that it is very symmetrical. Otherwise it just looks like he forgot how to grow a beard. Usually there is supposed to be some hair on the chin too, Mr. Hogan! I mean, this is a great technique if he was trying to show off his chin, but we doubt that was his motive. He could name a signature wrestling move after this baby: Handlebar Hulk.

Hulk Hogan, the sixth man in our quest to find a decent mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 4/5
Style: 1/5
Originality: 3/5
Overall: Out of a possible 15, Hogan scored a middle-of-the-road 8 points.

Hopefully we never see one like this in real life 'cause it's just downright creepy!

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

"You can tell he's creepy 'cause he's got long hair" -a friend. 

Update: Mustache Monday Contest Winners

Thank you all for your participation in our very first Purity, not Puritanism contest! We had many impressive entries for our Mustache Monday competition last week, but could only have 3 winners. Congratulations to Storm*, Lindsey, and Kaitlyn! The three of you can message either Kelley or I on facebook with your top choice for a Mustache Monday contender.

The correct answers were: John Avery Whitaker, King Triton, Mr. James Pringle, Snidley Whiplash, Jafar, Captain Hook, and Cogsworth.

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

*Storm's computer did not let her post her answers, but Becca supervised her attempting to submit her answers, all of which were 100% correct. 

Mustache Monday: Caravaggio

Caravaggio, well known as an Italian artist of old.

Caravaggio, less known for his expansive facial growth.

Can we talk about the eyebrows? Granted, this is a self portrait, so maybe he just had a flawed mirror, but they loop all the way down to the level of his ear! We don't know whether to be impressed or depressed by this train wreck. Who knew there could be something worse than the unibrow in the way of eyebrow grooming? But let's take the eyebrows off the table for a moment. After all, this is MUSTACHE Monday. The mustache itself isn't terrible, except that it perpetuates his "I'm a moody artist" look. It actually has a nice shape to it, and is trimmed nicely. The mustache could be compared to a friendly, fuzzy caterpillar hanging out on his upper lip. That's cool, right? It also provides a parallel between the eyebrows and the 'stache. (We know, we said we wouldn't go there, but it was inevitable).

Caravaggio, the fifth man in our search for a decent mustache. Let's see how he fared:

Size: 2/5
Originality: 2/5
Style: 3/5
Out of a possible 15, Caravaggio scored a mere 7. Not too impressive.

It's a good thing we weren't evaluating the eyebrows!

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

I mustache you a question...

Well, hello

Here I am, exploring a negative thought pattern. We mentioned in our first post the idea that having a boyfriend is part of the sanctification process; let’s look a bit deeper at that idea.

I have a very strange memory. I can remember reams of facts about plenty of random topics, but not the faces of people I met yesterday. So if anyone ever sat me down and said, “Kelley, one day, if you’re really a Christian, you’ll have a boyfriend,” I have no memory of it. But I’ve picked it up somewhere, and since I’m not the only one, I’m trying to figure out where it comes from.

This is how it works, at least in my case. A girl likes a guy, they hang out, flirt, suddenly they’re dating. If we’re friends, I generally hear something along these lines: “I got my relationship with God right and all of a sudden I had a boyfriend.” This condensing is unhealthy. Would you drink condensed milk instead of regular milk? I didn’t think so.

Here’s the message that single girls often hear: “If you were right with God, you’d have a boyfriend, too.” This isn’t what our friends are trying to say, and if it is, find new friends. The process they’ve been through is incredibly more complex and intense than a single sentence (I’m fairly certain), and they’re probably not aware of the erroneous inferences drawn by others.

Nerd reference: boyfriends and girlfriends are not a level two sword you get when you find all the secret seashells. God’s not sitting in Seashell Mansion with a checklist—I found patience under the rock, and kindness in the hidden treasure chest, so once I get devotion time from the maze I win a boyfriend!

Frankly, it’s a dead end for singles to mess around with this idea. We can’t earn anything real in life. We’re not promised what we want. The gifts are given. Maybe God plans for me to have a romantic relationship. Maybe that gift will be given to me and to whoever. Maybe I’ll get the gift of being permanently single, and I’m not being sarcastic. There are wonderful things about being single. It’s not sour grapes or a consolation prize. Maybe I’ll be any number of things.

I guess this is what so disturbs me. This type of thinking is a limitation of God’s power. Idiotic as it seems to me when I catch myself thinking in this way, I become afraid that I’m displeasing God, that I’m stagnant in my walk with him, because I don’t have a boyfriend.

Life is too open to fret myself in a circle about whether or not I’m “right” with God because I’m single. Dating is not a mandatory step towards holiness. Does God work through dating, engagements, marriage? Of course he does. But he also works through famine and fire and gain and loss and joy and an infinite number of things. God is not limited by our relationship statuses. Let’s stop pretending that he is.

Cheers,
Kelley

"Thirst is no measure of His faithfulness; He withholds no good thing from us."

Mustache Monday: Cartoon Characters

Can You Name Cartoon Characters With Mustaches?

We bring you, on this crisp fall day, a quiz! The stakes are high, as the first 3 correct commentors to identify all 7 of the pictures will get the chance to nominate a future contender for Mustache Monday.

Rules:
-You must identify all 7 mustache owners correctly. We will only post the comments once the first 3 people respond correctly so others cannot cheat off your answers.
- All submissions must be turned in by Sunday, the 23rd to receive consideration.
- If you win, the person you suggest for Mustache Monday must be a public figure and must be REAL. Also, they must have a mustache.

Let the games begin!!

1.

2.



3.


4.


5.


6.


7.

Happy guessing!

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

"It's a pub quiz! Using your mobile is cheating!"

Mustache Monday: Ambrose Burnside

Ambrose Burnside, famous for killing lots of people in the Civil War.

Ambrose Burnside, probably equally famous for his ridiculous facial hair.

We assume Mr. Burnside was a hunter because it looks like he attached his kills to his face. It’s very impressive how his mustache runs into his actual hair. Or maybe he is just trying to make up for the lack of actual hair with the overabundance of ‘stache. He should just shave it off so he can fashion it into a stylish toupee. He would need quite the mustache cup to keep this growth from getting into his tea (if you don’t know what a mustache cup is, look it up…every mustache enthusiast should know about it.) We believe this is where the author of batman came up with the idea for the bat signal, both because of the shape and the size. We mean really, you could see this thing from outer space.

Ambrose Burnside, fourth man in our quest to find a decent mustache. Let’s see how he ranked:

Size: 5/5

Originality: 3/5

Style: 0/5

Out of a possible 15, Burnside scored 8 points. Clearly not a winner, but not quite a loser either.

We give him props for confidence.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Side Note: Sideburns were named after this man. Cool, right?

The Pain of Singleness

Being single can be painful.

I won't pretend that's not true. Don't get me wrong, there is a deep sense of fulfillment that comes with being able to devote all of my time and attention to the roles God has called me to, but the sobering fact remains: I would rather work alongside someone than alone.

For this season of my life, I have been called to work in God's kingdom as a single woman. Two things accompany that:

As a single woman, I have freedom beyond what I would have if I were in a relationship. By this, I mean freedom  of time and commitment, and freedom to dedicate myself wholeheartedly to my involvements. I love having the liberty to devote myself so completely to something.

Secondly, I recognize that this season could very well last for the rest of my life. I have not felt expressly called to singleness, but I also have not received the promise of a husband. No verse states, "Seek and ye shall find a spouse," and that's alright.

However, recognizing all of this does not change the emotions and longings that accompany singleness. It is painful to see people who get to experience the unique joy of having a tangible partner in their work for Christ, knowing that I have never and might never experience that. I long to be able to share my passions with someone who I know both loves the Lord and cares deeply for me. I long to rejoice with someone about their own passions and come alongside them as they seek to follow Christ. There is an element of that in every good friendship, but a relationship brings a unique intimacy to this dynamic. Part of my longing for relationships also stems from the desire to engage in the adventure and challenge of learning to be so mutually dependent, whereas at this stage of my life I am so accustomed to being self-sufficient. I yearn to be fully vulnerable and authentic with someone I am in a trusting relationship with.

Now, there are many counter arguments to what I have said, assurances of my worth and fulfillment in Christ. However, automatically listing off these rationalities, as we can tend to do, may end up diminishing the legitimacy of the of the emotions I feel. For example, if I am feeling particularly alone, I may say, "I don't feel as though I will ever be married." And though this may be dramatic on my part, if someone responds by saying, "Don't say that! Of course you will," then I end up feeling shot down and as though I wasn't heard. Furthermore, that person is not speaking truth into my life because, unless God gave them a vision He didn't give me, they don't have any guarantee of what will happen in my future.

And we all fall into these traps, of trying to encourage someone without having the best words with which to do so. But I urge you, as I urge myself, to think and to listen first, to then be able to speak more effectively into the situation.

So, although most of the time I am content with singleness and being present with where I currently am in life, there are times when the pain of singleness hits. I praise God that He walks with me through these moments, showing me His love and His plan for me, and it's by His grace that I can use this pain towards gaining a better understanding of myself and the world around me.

Cheers,
Becca

"Not my will, but Yours be done."

Mustache Monday: Paul Grotelueschen

This week, we had the rare opportunity to interview a fellow Trinity-goer, Paul Grotelueschen, about his illustrious mustache. His facial hair is revered on campus, and makes Paul a sought after attendee at school events because of the automatic class added by his luxurious 'stache. Read on, and be amazed. 

Purity, Not Puritanism (PNP): What prompted you grow a mustache?                       

Paul Grotelueschen (PG): I’ve always wanted one, and finally was able to grow one. So I did, kinda. That was really it. And it’s something different, too. In high school I grew out a mullet. I didn’t cut my hair for 2 years, then when I did I kept a rat tail. The mustache is the next stage in my seeking to do something different.

PNP: There’s a rumor that you use hair-enhancing drugs (specifically Rogaine) on your mustache. Can you confirm or deny this rumor?

PG: I deny this, actually. I have never used any hair growth products.

PNP: Have you ever dyed it?

PG: I have dyed it twice -- jet black both times. Also, the mustache wax I use is colored so it gives it a bit darker tint that it’s actual unadulterated state.

PNP: Does it help with the ladies?

PG: Well, for the 50 and older group, yes. I have received infinite comments on my mustache from that demographic. But my girlfriend likes it, so whatever works for her.

PNP: Who is your mustache hero?

PG: This mustache is pretty much modeled after the Agatha Christie character, Hercule Poirot. I am also a big fan of Aaron Rogers’ handlebar mustache.

PNP: What is your idealized mustache, or what shape do you hope to achieve with your ‘stache?

PG: With this mustache, my goal is Rollie Fingers. That’s when the mustache curls a full circle on the ends.

Seems like Paul is close to reaching his goal. We commend him for his mustache boldness. Press on, good Christian soldier. Press on. 

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

"I understand facial hair, but when it becomes an art..."