What is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

While searching for a Hillsong song the other day, I happened upon this one instead. It was definitely a God thing, because the words of the song struck deep. Our society's view of love is so screwed up - sometimes a reminder is unwanted but sorely needed. 

Arms Wide Open by Misty Edwards 

“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss
But love is more than this

All You ever wanted was my attention
All You ever wanted was love from me
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet

Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused
If all of life comes down to love
Then love has to be more than sentiment
More than selfishness and selfish gain

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me
I could not escape those beautiful eyes
And I began to weep and weep

He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding

Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree
I began to weep and weep and weep and weep

This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is

And as I sat there weeping, crying
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love

He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”

With arms wide open, a heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding

If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me

Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me

And you’ll come alive when you learn to die.

And that's what it's all about. 

Cheers,

Becca

Happy New Year, folks!

Unmuddying the Waters; or Definitions

Picture this:

A friend walks up to you and says, "Hey, I've been talking to this guy lately."

Possible interpretations include:

• I have been speaking with a boy.
• I have been flirting outrageously with a boy, hoping he will get the idea.
• I'm on the brink of entering into a serious, committed relationship with this boy.
• I married this boy three months ago and I thought you should know about it.

What is at the root of this variety of interpretations? We argue that the answer is definition confusion.

What, really, is the meaning of the word "talking" in this context? Clearly we can debate about this 'til the cows come home, but how can we know, by the end of the conversation, which meaning it held? How can we minimize the problem?

We have noticed that when two people in conversation are using different definitions for the same terms, problems occur. We may or may not have gotten into tiff because of this yesterday (we're all good now), where Kelley used a word with a specific meaning, which Becca interpreted with a different specific meaning. We were both getting frustrated until we stepped back and defined terms. In the end, we weren't actually talking about the same concept, but we were both using the same word to convey that concept.

The second way that definition confusion can arise is when people use different words to talk about the same concept. For example, in the above example "talking" could be a synonym for "starting a relationship." People can end up talking circles around each other, never realizing that they are actually talking about the same idea.

We propose three things:

• Clarify your terms. Even if you think your meaning is clear, it can be helpful to state exactly what you mean.

• Provide context when talking to people. Chances are, the more background you provide, the better understood you will be.

• Keep in mind the context that others are providing when you talk to them. Try to understand the whole movie, not just the snapshot.

So, when describing your upcoming relationship with a boy, you might say, "Hey, I have been talking to this guy lately, and I really like him. I think he is going to ask me out soon, and I am excited to see where this goes." If we all take the time to explain ourselves more fully, we will sidestep many of the miscommunications (and tiffs!) that arise from definition confusion.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

"I like you."

"Ok, but do you like me, or do you LIKE me?!"