Sunday, February 26, 2012

Mustache Monday: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, famous for his character Sherlock Holmes.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, famous for looking mustache-y.

If we didn't know any better, we'd cast Doyle as the lead villain in some melodrama. We mean, look at that mustache! You just expect him to start twirling it as he sneeringly outlines his devious plans for closing the orphans' home and plowing under the flower beds. The manner in which it slopes down to his lip then juts out from either side is just improbable. We have to wonder why he did not deduce that this was not a good look for him when he looked in the mirror each morning. He should have spent less time seance-ing and more time shaving, in our opinion.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the 13th man in A Study in 'Staches. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 3/5
Style: 1/5
Originality: 2/5
Overall: 6/15

We're fairly sure Inspector Lestrade could solve a case unaided in less time than it would take Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to shave this thing off his face. And that's rarely a good thing.

Becca and Kelley

"Got your next heist planned?"
"No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist."

Monday, February 20, 2012

Mustache Monday: John Waters

Oh gosh. Here we go.

John Waters, famous for his mustache.

John Waters, also famous for directing movies such as Roman Candles, Cry Baby, and the original Hairspray.

My goodness, where to begin? We believe this picture should be in the dictionary next to the word "creeper." If stalking had a face, this would be it. This is the face that tells you you're about to be killed. To be fair, what's a guy to do when society fails to appreciate the God-given beauty of lips? Make them look. Waters was apparently born before the age of botox, and chose a different method of highlighting his luscious lips. Instead of inflating them to balloon size, he decided to outline them with a pencil-thin line. Maybe Waters was hoping Hairspray was actually a brand of Spray-On Hair, and made the movie looking for sponsors because he clearly isn't growing enough of it on his own.

John Waters, the 12th gentleman in our pursuit for the perfect 'stache. Let's see how he did:

Size: 0/5
Style: 0/5
Originality: 2/5
Overall: 2/15

Clearly not a winner. Just, no.

Becca and Kelley

John Waters, self proclaiming his creepiness by playing a cameo role of the Flasher in the new Hairspray. No, we're not kidding. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Mustache Monday: Orlando Bloom

Orlando Bloom, famous for his roles in trilogies of movies like Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, Elizabethtown. J

Orlando Bloom, less known for his scruffy ‘stache.

We applaud Bloom for the control he exhibits over his mustache, especially over our last few candidates who have let their ‘staches run amuck. Minimalism is making a comeback, y’all. Don’t miss the train. Now, we think Orlando could follow in Paul Grotelueschen’s footsteps and get some colored wax for his mustache so that it would match the color of his hair. As it stands, it looks a bit like Bloom used his buccaneering bow and arrow (Are we mixing up his characters? Oh well.) to sequester another man’s mustache, glue it on his face, and claim it as his own.  He must have been so entranced by the beauty of it that he forgot to check for color compatibility. As great as the shape and style may be, you just can’t get away with ‘stache stealing!

Orlando Bloom, our 11th man seeking title of best mustache. Let’s see how he ranked:
Size: 1/5
Style: 5/5
Originality: 1/5
Overall: 7/15

Orlando, although we love your fearsome facial hair, we cannot let our bias show through. The numbers don’t lie.

Becca and Kelley

We can see the headline now: Stylish ‘stache stealer serves sentence of seven sequential seasons.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Women of Worth (a.k.a. free ad space)

So, I am planning an event for next week called “Women of Worth” (abbreviated WoW, not to be confused with World of Warcraft…ok, maybe we did that purposefully).  It will be a panel event with women in different phases of relationship (single, dating, engaged, and married) speaking into what it looks like to be serving and seeking God in each of these phases. Hannah Kalb and I originally came up with the idea for this event after emceeing the “He’s Just Not That Into You” panel last semester. While we thought that event was great and discussed many important topics surrounding relationships, we felt it left the audience, ourselves included, wanting more. Questions were left in our mind such as: what do we do with this information? How do we put into practice some of the lessons we have learned through this? How can we use this information to more fully serve God?

In light of that, we have decided to have a panel of women we feel can insightfully speak into the questions of relationships and our spiritual walk (Emily Sell, Angela Carpenter, Joi Logan, Anne Tohme, Lindsey Goetz…). We will then have Katherine Fulkerson give a closing charge that synthesizes the evening’s topic and sends the women out with some sense of direction regardless of what stage of relationship they are in.

Hannah and I’s greatest motivation in creating this event was in seeing so many girls struggle with their identity in Christ as a result of their relationship status (be it single or dating). In singleness, we have seen girls give up their striving for anything that will not bring them closer to their man. We have seen strong independent women become insecure and fragile, thinking themselves unworthy of relationship, whether it be with a man or with God. We have heard about and experienced the struggle women (and men!) face when they equate entering into relationship with success in their walk with Christ.

On the flip side, we have seen the challenge of balancing a relationship with a man and a relationship with God. We have known people who become too dependent on their significant other, forsaking their dependency on Christ. We have struggled ourselves in trying to discover what the purpose of relationship is as the bible outlines it.

So our goal is to shed an ounce of light on these issues, knowing that we will not solve the problem with one event. Our hope is that, through WoW, we will be able to speak into the current situation of the women in the audience, providing some semblance of guidance towards God’s heart.

And, before all you men get up in arms, we have already thought through the possibility of doing a similar event that includes men. Based on the success of WoW, you can expect to see something that will cater to your relationship lives sometime in the near future.

So, what is our role in speaking into the corruption and distortion that so often happens in relationships? We aren’t fully sure, but we will start taking those steps of responsibility by opening space for discussion of the topic. Come join us if you’d like! (Shameless plug: JHL, Feb. 16th at 7:30 PM)


Monday, February 6, 2012

Mustache Monday: Fuel Answerman

Mike Profetto, famous for being Vice Pres. of something for a big company.
Mike Profetto...let's be honest, is there any doubt of what else he's famous for?

So this chap is known as the Fuel Answerman, presumably because he answers questions about fuel. We just wish he'd answer a few questions on a different topic.
  1. What were you thinking when you began growing this facial hair?
  2. What are you thinking every morning when you look in the mirror and decide NOT to shave it off?
  3. Why is the mustache a markedly different color than of it?
  4. Do people actually take you seriously?
Likely we'll never know the answers to these pressing questions, and that is the third greatest tragedy in mustache history. The second greatest is, of course, that these questions must be asked in the first place.

Mike Profetto, the 10th man in our quest to find a decent mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 5/5
Style: 0/5
Originality: 3/5
Overall: 8/15

If you know the proper term or a funny descriptor for those white things on his face, please post it in the comments.

Becca and Kelley

Becca: "Was he caught in a wind tunnel?"