Mustache Monday: Retrospective

We're looking back over the 20 mustaches we've reviewed here at Purity, Not Puritanism. Here they are, ranked by score in all there mustachioed glory!

John Waters: 2/15
Charlie Chaplin: 4/15
Paul David Tripp: 5/15
Cary Elwes: 6/15
Shia Lebeouf: 6/15
John Axford: 6/15
Joseph Furst: 6/15
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: 6/15
Salvador Dali: 6/15
Caravaggio: 7/15
Orlando Bloom: 7/15
Anthony Ainley: 7/15
Groucho Marx: 8/15
Mike Profetto: 8/15
Hulk Hogan: 8/15
Ambrose Burnside: 8/15
Clark Gable: 9/15
Nicholas Courtney: 10/15
Roger: 11/15
George Clooney: 11/15

Since Roger got points because he had that HUGE mustache, George Clooney is the lead in our Mustache Monday reviews! However, no one reached the elusive 15/15 perfect score. Alas for the current state of mustaches!

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

Mustache Monday: Salvador Dali

Salvador Dali, famous for his paintings. 

Salvador Dali, famous for being strange. 

This is a bad mustache. Let's not beat around the bush. We really don't like this one. It's the strangest thing in this picture, and let's face it: the man has a rooster sitting on his shoulder. Not only does this mustache look fake, it sticks up out of his face in a manner so bizarrely defying of physics that Isaac Newton is probably doing a great impression of a Rototiller as we type this. Honestly, we wish Dali had left the  surrealism on his canvases instead of trying to replicate it in real life. 

Salvador Dali, the 20th man in our search for a great mustache. Let's see how he ranked: 

Size: 2/5

Symmetry: 2/5

Originality: 2/5

Overall: 6/15

Not exactly a high note to round out our score of mustache reviews, but what can you do?

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Check back for a special Mustache Monday retrospective next week!

More about love

My parents always tell me to do "the next right thing." Sometimes, most of the time, I have a lot of trouble figuring out what that might be. When I do figure it out, it's often something that I can't do. In my experience, God calls on us to do things we can't do. Not without him. The good news is that he's always there to give us the strength we need.


Warning: the rest of this post will be mainly literature-related. 


In the first book of Madeleine L'Engle's Time Quintet, A Wrinkle in Time, the main character, Meg, is faced with an evil intelligence that is holding her brother captive. Meg has to go back alone to rescue her brother from IT, much to her own dismay. Mrs. Who, Mrs. Whatsit, and Mrs. Which, angelic beings that guide her throughout the book, advise her to look for what she has that IT does not: Love. As she stands before IT, Meg realizes that

"If she could give love to IT perhaps it would shrivel up and die, for she was sure that IT could not withstand love. But she, in all of her weakness and foolishness and baseness and nothingness, was incapable of loving IT. Perhaps it was not too much to ask of her, but she could not do it."

Instead, Meg loves her brother, though he has been distorted by IT, and she saves him. But in the second book she is faced with the same problem. The Ecthroi, of which IT was only a part, again threaten her brother. And this time loving him isn't enough. She has to love the Ecthroi. Though she is still weak and foolish and base and unqualified, she has to do it.

In The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky's character Ivan says that "One can love one's neighbors in the abstract, or even at a distance, but at close quarters it's almost impossible." He tries to make up for this by loving an abstract ideal of humanity and children, who he sees as pure and innocent, which proves that he knows nothing about children. The thing is, though, that he's right. Our sin makes us ugly, contemptible, impossibly unlovely. And yet God calls us to love each other. Out of the humanly impossible, God demonstrates his power by loving something that is utterly undeserving. This is what he calls us to do, and he knows that we can't do it without him. Because of our sin, we can't even do it as Christians, not 100% of the time. We're going to fail, no question--but we have to try anyway.

A priest in The Brothers Karamazov says, "Can there be a sin which could exceed the love of God?...Believe that God loves you as you cannot conceive; that he loves you with your sin, in your sin....All things are atoned for, all things are saved by love. If I, a sinner, even as you are, am tender with you and have pity on you, how much more will God." So here is the two-part answer to the question of why God calls us to do what is impossible. First of all, it shows us over and over again our deep, unending need of him, and his faithfulness and love for us. Secondly, it makes us present the image of Christ more significantly than ever, in demonstration and comparison. As people are unlovely, our love, such as it is and aided by the example of Christ, can a powerful witness to the extravagant love of God.

Love Through Me

Amy Carmichael

 Love through me, Love of God;

There is no love in me.

O Fire of love, light Thou the love 

That burns perpetually.

Flow through me, Peace of God;

Calm River, flow until

No wind can blow, no current stir

A ripple of self-will.

Shine through me, Joy of God;

Make me like Thy clear air

That Thou dost pour Thy colors through,

As though it were not there.

O blessed Love of God,

That all may taste and see

How good Thou art, once more I pray:

Love through me—even me.

Cheers,
Kelley

Mustache Monday: Anthony Ainley

Anthony Ainley, famous British television actor.
Anthony Ainley, daring mustache wearer.

This is an interesting mustache. It may not be stunning or super classy, but he pulls it off well. The transition to goatee/beard thing is very smooth. Unfortunately, the symmetry is a bit off, both in the center and in relative thickness. Again, what's up with the weird mustache gap? Also, the top of the beard thing peaks off to the right instead of the center. It's distracting. With that out of the way, we'd like to mention his eyebrows, which are really crazy. They have really exaggerated peaks that look like upside down seagulls from a child's drawing. Bizarre.

Anthony Ainley, the 19th man in our quest for a great mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 3/5
Symmetry: 2/5
Originality: 2/5
Overall: 7/15

Pretty average overall, though we would take a few off for the eyebrows, if it were allowed.

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

The Promises of God

I recently got a haircut. Random, except for the fact that it proved to be the glue that held together this three-part epiphany I’ve had recently. Let me preface this by saying that I think for many Christian college students, trust can be really hard, particularly as we approach our last year or graduation.

Part One:

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my future. It’s a bit of a short lived process, and it has the potential to be depressing, because I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. I can’t even “chase my dreams” because I don’t really have any. No dream job, no dream life, no dream accomplishments. And yet I find it very hard to be content. The Lord brought this to my attention very forcibly, and before I had time to formulate a smart, Christian response, I prayed, “I wouldn’t have trouble being content if I didn’t have to trust You!” When I stopped laughing at myself, I realized how true it was. If I knew where I was going in life, if I could be certain that I am going to be happy and safe and so on, I could be content with where I am right now. Only here’s the thing: I don’t think it’s true. If I knew what would happen in five years, and I was looking forward to it, I would tend to miss what God is doing here and now. And if I was afraid of what was coming, I could lack the courage to respond in a Godly manner. Though I may really hate it at times, I can see that it is better for me to not know what is coming.

Part Two:
I was sitting in the salon chair as the stylist cut off several inches. And I hated the way it was starting to look. The control-freak in me rose up and I nearly asked the woman to step back and leave my hair alone. Then I remembered that the last time she cut my hair, I had the same reaction. In the end, however, it worked. I don’t get to pick the style of my life. God has a plan. He’s working it out perfectly, and knowing how it will look in the end isn’t any guarantee that the process is going to be pleasant or attractive. I had chosen my own hairstyle and I didn’t like the in between look of it, but it turned out fine. God knows what he is doing.

Part Three:

I was reading the Bible about a week after the haircut, and I came across this passage:

“For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.” (2 Corinthians 5:2-5).

So here’s the great part, the third epiphany, so to speak: I may not know what my 50 to 60 more years of life on earth—God willing—are going to include, but I have been guaranteed for eternity.

The promises of God may not be what we want them to be. I would dearly love for God to tell me if I will ever pay off my student loans, if I will ever have a steady job that I am passionate about, of if I will ever get married. But He doesn’t tell me that. Instead, He tells me that He has a perfect plan with surprises and opportunities and challenges I cannot imagine, and that at the end of it, I will be further clothed, so that what is mortal in me will be swallowed up by life everlasting. Not only has He told me this, in His great love, He has guaranteed it through the presence of His Spirit. And that’s better than knowing what if I’ll pass all my classes this semester.

Cheers,
Kelley

"Many folk like to know beforehand what is to be set on the table; but those who have laboured to prepare the feast like to keep their secret; for wonder makes the words of praise louder." -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

Mustache Monday: Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx, famous for being really funny.
Groucho Marx, famous for his really bad mustache.

It looks fake. And for a while it was, but apparently Groucho got tired of applying the fake one and grew a real mustache, which he kept for the rest of his life, if wikipedia can be believed. Luckily the real one looks a darn sight better.

Better, yes, but still not great. Why does it part strangely at the middle? Why does it curve differently on each side? Why does his always have huge cigars hanging out of his mouth? These are the questions that will haunt comedy fanatics 'til the end of time. Or maybe just us.

Groucho Marx, the 18th man in our quest to find that mustache of all mustaches. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 3/5
Symmetry: 3/5
Originality: 2/5
Overall: 8/15

Pretty average, Groucho. Be grateful the score wasn't for the fake mustache!



Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

Random fact: In junior high, Kelley may have thought that Karl Marx was one of the Marx brothers. Reading the Communist Manifesto was a bit of a disappointment. 

On sitting your ass down

Hey, friends!
Since Becca and I are super busy, we've got a few great guest posts for you. Here's one from a really close and wonderful friend of ours. Enjoy!

Lindsey recently graduated from college with a degree in Elementary Education and an awesome husband.  Lindsey teaches reading and works as an admin assistant.  She also reads, makes delicious food, and blogs at http://treadthedawn.wordpress.com

 Once upon a time, I got married to afore mentioned seminary-student. Not too long after that, I was offered a job that would’ve required a pretty big move for us.  I've wanted to teach all my life, and many people (us included) thought that the obvious answer was to accept the position.  But, after a lot of thinking and praying, we really didn't feel that it was the best decision for our family.  David still had 2 years of seminary left, a part time job that he loves, and the commutes would be a nightmare, probably resulting in my wondering about the identity of the tall guy with the beard who occasionally ate dinner at my house.  So we said no.  We stayed. 

For some of you, that might seem like a boring story (come on, be honest, I can take it), but for us it wasn't.  For me especially, it was difficult to think about the possibility that the Lord's will might include staying somewhere.

 Our first year of marriage included 4 apartments and trips to 3 continents and 14 states.  We needed a rest.  Though our first year of marriage was a wonderful adventure that neither one of us would trade for anything, we both believed that staying here and spending some time with people that we love in a place that we love was necessary to the success of our marriage.  We just needed to sit awhile, and this bench looked nice, so we're sitting here.  I didn’t always feel so comfortable with the idea, though.  At first, I felt guilty. 

It's easy to grow up in the church with the impression that considering and caring for personal needs and relationships is somehow selfish or less holy than throwing caution to the wind, mustering up a bold "God will take care of me!" attitude and going wherever the wind blows.  But it's not.  Contrary to what we might’ve learned, the Lord’s will isn’t to have a bunch of followers with relationships in shambles because they recklessly move from one service opportunity to the next until they burn themselves out. 

Sometimes sitting your ass down is the only obedience the Lord asks, because he knows you couldn’t handle hearing what will follow.  Your “yes” to what may seem like an easy question may be bigger than you ever imagined.  The last year has been the hardest I’ve ever faced, and the primary way the Lord has spoken to and healed me has been through relationships.  He made us for them.  How can we so quickly disregard and devalue something that the Lord created us for?

One year from one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made, I can testify that the Lord doesn’t need us to go somewhere to shake up our lives or to make us more like him.  He doesn’t need us to run ourselves into the ground.  Sometimes, he just asks us to sit down. 

Mustache Monday: Clark Gable

Clark Gable, famous for making lots of great movies.

Clark Gable, also famous for his mustache. 

Clark Gable made some great movies. Let's just start with that, because it's obvious and true. "It Happened One Night" is hilarious, and he was famously in "Gone with the Wind," and he played Charles Parnell in "Charles Stewart Parnell," which we mention only because Kelley recently read Joyce's "Portrait of the Artist." So he's a famous actor. But we're wondering about the mustache. Something about it, the angle of his head, and the direction he's looking just give this whole picture a shifty feel, which is doing nothing for our appraisal of the mustache. Taken by itself, it's kind of weird. The gap between the two sides is pretty wide, and you notice this more because of the sparseness of the hair. But he somehow manages to pull it off. We're pretty sure that if anyone else had this mustache we would hate it, but he's convincing us that it's a great style choice. See, we said he was a great actor.

Clark Gable, the 17th man in our quest to find a great mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 2/5
Symmetry: 4/5
Originality: 3/5
Overall: 9/15

Not bad at all, Clark!

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

Hilarious words of wisdom

So one of our best friends introduced us to these videos, which are pretty awesome. This chap records a video each Monday about all sorts of things: faith, homeschool, dating, and just random funny topics. We already have mustaches on Monday, so we're sharing these on a regular weekday.

Since our blog deals with relationships a lot, we thought we share two of them, one for the guys and one for the girls, but you can definitely watch both because they are completely hilarious. Also, check out some of the others, they're pretty hysterical. Side note: he does yell sometimes, so careful of the volume.

First, for the ladies, we have Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You.

And for the gentlemen, we have Ten Ways to Get Girls to Like You.

Watch and enjoy!

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Mustache Monday: Nicholas Courtney

William Nicholas Stone Courtney, famous for being an awesome British actor.

William Nicholas Stone Courtney, also pretty well know for his mustache.

This is a great mustache. Let's not beat around the bush, folks. This mustache is brilliant. It's symmetrical, it's not obnoxiously large, and it looks really classy. Both Nicholas Courtney and Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, his most famous character, pull this mustache off with great aplomb.  It just gives him a great air of distinction. And just imagine: Courtney, who died last year, rocked this great 'stache through the sixties and seventies (or was it the eighties? ha!). It can be hard to find things from that period that are still classy, so theoretical bonus points to Nicholas Courtney. 

Nicholas Courtney, the 16th contender in our mission to meet a man with a miraculous mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 3/5

Symmetry: 5/5

Originality: 2/5 

Overall: 10/15

10 out of 15 puts Courtney firmly into our Mustache Monday top three! Near full marks for the Brigadier! 

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Red and White

I recently had the opportunity to teach a lesson at youth group on eternal destiny, including the truth and reality of heaven and hell. And although it was daunting and overwhelming to take on such a heavy, sometimes-nebulous topic, it was also very rewarding to put myself in a position to have to express to others the biblical perspective on the issue. While preparing to teach, I came across this gem of a text in Revelation 7:13-17. Take a look:

     Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes---who are they, and where did they come
     from?"
         I answered, "Sir, you know."
     And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes
     and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
         Therefore,
            "they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple;
                and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
             Never again will they hunger;
                 never again will they thirst.
             The sun will not beat upon them,
                 nor any scorching heat.
             For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
                 he will lead them to springs of living water.
             And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

What an amazing image. First you have the setting of the scene, an image of an innumerable group of people from every nation and tongue, all dressed in brilliant white, and holding palm branches while shouting glorious praises to the Lord. That alone is enough to take my breath away. But on top of that, as one of the high school students in the youth group pointed out, you have this illogical concept of washing robes in blood only to have them come out clean and radiantly white. How does that work? Isn't the blood of the Lamb a gory, gruesome image? Well of course it is. We are talking about the blood poured out at Golgotha to atone for the sins of the world, the blood Christ suffered to shed. However, the image of Christ's blood is not all gore. It is also hope, and life, and the promise of purity to cleanse us as we enter our eternal destiny.

So this vast multitude is wearing these white robes, signifying they have been washed by Christ's blood and are now pure. Therefore, they can enter into glory, where they will never hunger nor thirst. Therefore, because of their purity, they can experience heaven. Therefore, by the fact that they are pure (something they could not grant themselves, mind you), they can drink from the springs of living water. How incredible of an image!

Purity is not a promise of sexual abstinence or a pledge to not cuss. Although these may be signs of a pure heart, they are not purity themselves. Purity is the complete and total washing of our lives by the blood of Christ. We must first be drenched in the blood of His suffering to then be wiped clean of our own foulness. Only then can we have the hope of partaking in the glory of heaven, and only then an we hope to have the privilege of entering God's presence unashamed.

Cheers,

Becca



"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matthew 5:8)
   

Mustache Monday: Paul David Tripp

Paul David Tripp, famous for lots of Christiany things.

Paul David Tripp, famouse for the mouse on his face.  

As respectfully as possible, we suggest that Paul David Tripp could trip over his own mustache. At least, he could trip over the left side of it, which is noticeably longer and shaggier than the right side. This makes him look like his entire person is listing to the left. Judging by the extreme bushiness of his mustache (and let's be honest, it is pretty darn bushy), we'd guess that he's making up for the bizarre manner in which his hair seems to grow straight out of the top of his head, giving him a strangely bald-looking forehead. What we're really struggling with, though, is the symmetry of this mustache. It is completely unbalanced! The left side hangs down over his lips, which leaves us hanging with a question: how does he eat? 

Paul David Tripp, the 15th contender in our quest to find a man with a decent mustache. Let's see how he ranked: 

Size: 4/5

Symmetry: 0/5

Originality: 1/5

Overall: 5/15

Well, Paul David Tripp...that's a Pretty Darn Terrible score. 

Cheers, 

Becca and Kelley

Dropped in the Sea

I recently heard a pastor preach in chapel about love. While I'm not sure about much of what he said, one thing did stick with me. He said that many Christians do not truly believe that God loves them. At which point I said to myself, "Self, isn't that interesting? All this time I thought I was the only one." Apparently I'm not the only one, which could be an alternate title for this blog. And it makes sense that I'm not the only one, being as I'm not some kind of crazy sport of the human race that has never existed before, with all kinds of new thoughts and feelings.

Deep breath.

I don't really believe that God loves me. Or, rather, I know that God loves me, I just don't let myself accept it. I also think it shows that God has unique tastes, because I know that I wouldn't like me if I met me. Somewhere in a parallel universe that sentence made perfect sense.

So God loves me. I know it, and we sing it all the time in chapel and church. Somehow it doesn't really sink in with me most of the time. And when it does, it's usually not strong enough to withstand the next awful thing I do. It can often feel like I'm drowning in my own sin. So here's something good that William Langland wrote:

"But all the wickedness in the world which man may do or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea.”

Which basically means that we are drowning. But it also means that it's good. Think about it! Can you light a fire in the OCEAN? If you can, you should contact that guy who's in charge of the Avengers, because I'm pretty sure that's a super power. God's mercy is an ocean that completely extinguishes the fire of our sin. Why? Because He loves us. It's in the nature of water to put out fire. It's in God's nature to smother our sin with His love. Do we second guess whether the water should be able to put out the fire? It's water. That's what it does. God is God. He loves us in our sin, thereby bringing us out of it. It's what He does. 

Let's believe in water that can put out fire.

Let's believe in God's love.

Cheers,

Kelley

Mustache Monday: Joseph Furst

Joseph Furst, famous for shouting, “Nothing in the world can shtop me now!” in Doctor Who: The Underwater Menace.

Joseph Furst, probably not famous for this mustache.

This mustache is neither as ostentatious or as just plain weird as some of the mustaches we have seen in our day. In fact, it’s pretty standard, as mustache styles go. The thing that saves this mustache from the bin of unmemorable mustaches is its masterful execution. It’s symmetrical, it’s even, it’s not too large. It even matches his eyebrows well, which can be hard to do. Though it doesn’t attempt to stun or amaze by elaborate curls or exaggerated length, this mustache is pretty impressive for its general neatness. Even insane dictators intent on blowing up the planet have their priorities, apparently.

Joseph Furst, the 14th contender in our quest to find a man with a perfect mustache. Let’s see how he ranked:

Size: 2/5

Symmetry: 4/5

Originality: 0/5

Overall: 6/15

Sorry, Joseph, you’re not first today! Nothing in the world can stop you now, except mediocre facial hair.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

"Something arrests your attention, Jeeves? A spot on my nose, perhaps?"

"No, sir, on your upper lip. I thought for a moment that a caterpillar had lost its bearings."

Jenny & Tyler: Open Your Doors

We love music, you might too.

Today we're sharing music with you!

We love Jenny & Tyler. Jenny and Tyler Somers, a couple from Delaware, make wonderful folksy, soulgrass music. They have five albums currently: A Prelude, This Isn’t A Dream, Faint Not, Love Came Down (a Christmas EP), and their newest album, Open Your Doors. Which is why we’re here. If you are reading this blog and you’ve never heard of Jenny & Tyler, do you ears a favor and keep reading, then check them out. Or stop reading and check them out. Either way, listen to their music!

Here's their website: http://www.jennyandtylermusic.com/

Here's their Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jennyandtyler

Open Your Doors was released on April 3^rd, and promptly made it into the iTunes top 100 albums. Clearly this is good stuff, folks! It was third out of all Singer/Songwriter albums. In one day!

Open Your Doors is made up of twelve tracks: two instrumental pieces and ten songs, nine of which are original. The tenth is new take on an old hymn that also includes original lyrics. And since we’re currently perusing the digital liner notes, how can you not love a band that uses whiskey bottles as a musical instrument? Seriously!

Here’s the track list:

1. Little Balloon
2. Abide

3. Skyline Hill

4. When Darkness Falls

5. Fear Thou Not

6. Lament

7. O That the Light

8. You Keep Loving Me

9. Psalm 86

10. See the Conqueror

11. Kingdom of Heaven

12. Selah

Now, we’re not musical experts, so we’re not going to do a track-by-track dissection of the pitch, duration, intensity, and timbre of all of these wonderful songs. Here are a few musical laymen’s opinions:

The lyrics are one of the best things about Jenny & Tyler’s music. The songs are weighty with truth and meaning. Jenny and Tyler write honestly and compellingly about their faith (and their love for each other, which is precious). The great thing about this is that the songs don’t really get old, because you’re always hearing the truth and depth of the lyrics.

Another quality thing about Jenny & Tyler is the music itself. Since we can’t write much about that, except that it’s phenomenal, here are some links to a few of the great songs from past albums:

Song for You (Faint Not): www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptqTZSUt56E

One Eyed Cat (This Isn't A Dream): www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsJhza_xImg

Through Your Eyes (Faint Not): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcSrNVxXl8g&feature=relmfu

Here’s another cool thing—Jenny & Tyler also recorded a cover of Simon and Garfunkle’s song The Sound of Silence. All of the proceeds from the sale of the track go to support social justice work around the world.

Here’s a link to their iTunes page, where you can find their CDs and The Sound of Silence:

http://ax.search.itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZSearch.woa/wa/search?entity=album&media=all&restrict=true&submit=seeAllLockups&term=jenny+and+tyler

And here's a link to the Open Your Doors preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS1uRSpT7lw

And here’s a link to a free download of their C.D. Faint Not: http://noisetrade.com/jennyandtyler

And here’s a link to their tour page (their concerts are so much fun; Kelley has been to three): http://www.facebook.com/jennyandtyler/app_123966167614127

So, as Kelley is currently drowning in paper-writing mode, here is her claim + reason argument: You should check out Jenny & Tyler. Their music is beautifully, skillfully, and thoughtfully made, and listening to it is a joy. We wholeheartedly recommend all of their albums, and especially Open Your Doors.

Our favorites from Open Your Doors: See the Conqueror, Kingdom of Heaven, Little Balloon, When Darkness Falls

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Random Open Your Doors fact: Kelley listened to the CD 23 times within a week of getting it.

Sneak Peak

Hello, faithful readers!

After another sad hiatus, we return with wisdom--we planned ahead this time! Here's some of what you have to look forward to over the next month:

Mustache Monday

A music review

Guest dating advice

And more!

Also, if you have an idea for a Mustache Monday or a topic or a question, comment, message us, send a homing pigeon! We'd love to hear from you and we'll see you on Monday!

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Mustache Monday: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, famous for his character Sherlock Holmes.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, famous for looking mustache-y.

If we didn't know any better, we'd cast Doyle as the lead villain in some melodrama. We mean, look at that mustache! You just expect him to start twirling it as he sneeringly outlines his devious plans for closing the orphans' home and plowing under the flower beds. The manner in which it slopes down to his lip then juts out from either side is just improbable. We have to wonder why he did not deduce that this was not a good look for him when he looked in the mirror each morning. He should have spent less time seance-ing and more time shaving, in our opinion.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the 13th man in A Study in 'Staches. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 3/5

Style: 1/5

Originality: 2/5

Overall: 6/15

We're fairly sure Inspector Lestrade could solve a case unaided in less time than it would take Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to shave this thing off his face. And that's rarely a good thing.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

"Got your next heist planned?"

"No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist."

-Firefly

Mustache Monday: John Waters

Oh gosh. Here we go.

John Waters, famous for his mustache.

John Waters, also famous for directing movies such as Roman Candles, Cry Baby, and the original Hairspray.

My goodness, where to begin? We believe this picture should be in the dictionary next to the word "creeper." If stalking had a face, this would be it. This is the face that tells you you're about to be killed. To be fair, what's a guy to do when society fails to appreciate the God-given beauty of lips? Make them look. Waters was apparently born before the age of botox, and chose a different method of highlighting his luscious lips. Instead of inflating them to balloon size, he decided to outline them with a pencil-thin line. Maybe Waters was hoping Hairspray was actually a brand of Spray-On Hair, and made the movie looking for sponsors because he clearly isn't growing enough of it on his own.

John Waters, the 12th gentleman in our pursuit for the perfect 'stache. Let's see how he did:

Size: 0/5
Style: 0/5
Originality: 2/5
Overall: 2/15

Clearly not a winner. Just, no.

Cheers,
Becca and Kelley

John Waters, self proclaiming his creepiness by playing a cameo role of the Flasher in the new Hairspray. No, we're not kidding. 

Mustache Monday: Orlando Bloom

Orlando Bloom, famous for his roles in trilogies of movies like Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, Elizabethtown. J

Orlando Bloom, less known for his scruffy ‘stache.

We applaud Bloom for the control he exhibits over his mustache, especially over our last few candidates who have let their ‘staches run amuck. Minimalism is making a comeback, y’all. Don’t miss the train. Now, we think Orlando could follow in Paul Grotelueschen’s footsteps and get some colored wax for his mustache so that it would match the color of his hair. As it stands, it looks a bit like Bloom used his buccaneering bow and arrow (Are we mixing up his characters? Oh well.) to sequester another man’s mustache, glue it on his face, and claim it as his own.  He must have been so entranced by the beauty of it that he forgot to check for color compatibility. As great as the shape and style may be, you just can’t get away with ‘stache stealing!

Orlando Bloom, our 11^th man seeking title of best mustache. Let’s see how he ranked:

Size: 1/5

Style: 5/5

Originality: 1/5

Overall: 7/15

Orlando, although we love your fearsome facial hair, we cannot let our bias show through. The numbers don’t lie.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

We can see the headline now: Stylish ‘stache stealer serves sentence of seven sequential seasons.

Women of Worth (a.k.a. free ad space)

So, I am planning an event for next week called “Women of Worth” (abbreviated WoW, not to be confused with World of Warcraft…ok, maybe we did that purposefully).  It will be a panel event with women in different phases of relationship (single, dating, engaged, and married) speaking into what it looks like to be serving and seeking God in each of these phases. Hannah Kalb and I originally came up with the idea for this event after emceeing the “He’s Just Not That Into You” panel last semester. While we thought that event was great and discussed many important topics surrounding relationships, we felt it left the audience, ourselves included, wanting more. Questions were left in our mind such as: what do we do with this information? How do we put into practice some of the lessons we have learned through this? How can we use this information to more fully serve God?

In light of that, we have decided to have a panel of women we feel can insightfully speak into the questions of relationships and our spiritual walk (Emily Sell, Angela Carpenter, Joi Logan, Anne Tohme, Lindsey Goetz…). We will then have Katherine Fulkerson give a closing charge that synthesizes the evening’s topic and sends the women out with some sense of direction regardless of what stage of relationship they are in.

Hannah and I’s greatest motivation in creating this event was in seeing so many girls struggle with their identity in Christ as a result of their relationship status (be it single or dating). In singleness, we have seen girls give up their striving for anything that will not bring them closer to their man. We have seen strong independent women become insecure and fragile, thinking themselves unworthy of relationship, whether it be with a man or with God. We have heard about and experienced the struggle women (and men!) face when they equate entering into relationship with success in their walk with Christ.

On the flip side, we have seen the challenge of balancing a relationship with a man and a relationship with God. We have known people who become too dependent on their significant other, forsaking their dependency on Christ. We have struggled ourselves in trying to discover what the purpose of relationship is as the bible outlines it.

So our goal is to shed an ounce of light on these issues, knowing that we will not solve the problem with one event. Our hope is that, through WoW, we will be able to speak into the current situation of the women in the audience, providing some semblance of guidance towards God’s heart.

And, before all you men get up in arms, we have already thought through the possibility of doing a similar event that includes men. Based on the success of WoW, you can expect to see something that will cater to your relationship lives sometime in the near future.

So, what is our role in speaking into the corruption and distortion that so often happens in relationships? We aren’t fully sure, but we will start taking those steps of responsibility by opening space for discussion of the topic. Come join us if you’d like! (Shameless plug: JHL, Feb. 16^th at 7:30 PM)

Cheers,

Becca

Mustache Monday: Fuel Answerman

Mike Profetto, famous for being Vice Pres. of something for a big company.

Mike Profetto...let's be honest, is there any doubt of what else he's famous for?

So this chap is known as the Fuel Answerman, presumably because he answers questions about fuel. We just wish he'd answer a few questions on a different topic.

1. What were you thinking when you began growing this facial hair?
2. What are you thinking every morning when you look in the mirror and decide NOT to shave it off?
3. Why is the mustache a markedly different color than the...rest of it?
4. Do people actually take you seriously?

Likely we'll never know the answers to these pressing questions, and that is the third greatest tragedy in mustache history. The second greatest is, of course, that these questions must be asked in the first place.

Mike Profetto, the 10th man in our quest to find a decent mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 5/5

Style: 0/5

Originality: 3/5

Overall: 8/15

If you know the proper term or a funny descriptor for those white things on his face, please post it in the comments.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Becca: "Was he caught in a wind tunnel?"

Mustache Monday: This Random Guy

This one is a bit of an enigma. We don't know his name, so we're going to call him Roger.

Roger, probably famous for nothing more than his mustache.

Roger, obviously famous for his mustache.

Since we don't really know who this chap is, we can only speculate about his astonishing facial hair. First off, that's an impressive mustache, but although this is mustache Monday, and not facial hair Friday, we can't stop at just his upper lip. We beg you to observe his sideburns and his his beard, all of which coordinate nicely with the curls off his mustache. We're going to guess that he grew and styled this shrubbery to impress his niece, because there is no way he has children of his own with a face like that. Alternatively, he was attempting to secure the coveted position of playing the Mayor of the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz at the time this photo was taken. We would have voted for him.

Roger, the ninth man in our quest to in find a man with a decent mustache. Let's see how he ranked:

Size: 5/5

Originality: 4/5

Style: 2/5

Overall: 11/15

Although this is not the most attractive mustache we have reviewed, we are overcome by its sheer scope and grandeur. Well done, Roger.

Cheers,

Becca and Kelley

Becca: "Call him Autonomous Anonymous!"

Kelley: "I am NOT writing that six times in the post!"

*Bonus points to anyone who gets the Monty Python references.